Welcome to the

ChaoticBiscuit

Breakfast has never been this unhinged.

Where scratch-made biscuits meet absolutely terrible ideas... and somehow they work.

Confidential File

Have you met Andre?

The employee handbook says we are not supposed to talk about him. Open The Andre Files

Enter the Chaos

You've been warned. The entire lineup is here—from scratch-made classics to recipes that probably should have stayed on the drawing board.

Open the Menu

Feed Your Bad Decisions

Looking for the fastest route to questionable life choices? Andre somehow convinced DoorDash to help. They've got the photos, ordering, and all the evidence.

Order on DoorDash

THE ANDRE FILES

We tried pretending he didn't exist. That strategy lasted almost six minutes. Read the case files, watch the evidence, and if you absolutely must... email him.

Open Case File #001

Public Access Division

The Andre Files

The following documents have been released to the public despite repeated objections from Andre. The investigation remains ongoing.

Open The Files

Shop

Merch coming soon.

Stickers, shirts, and chaotic collectibles will live here later.